Perfection is something I have struggled with my entire life. Now, you may be wondering, what kind of perfection? beauty, body, grades? I have struggled with all of those things, but there is one type of perfection that has always haunted me and has on numerous occasions led me to failure. It is the perfection of the diet...or in this case, health plan.
For example, in the past few years, if I were to eat just one chip or cookie or basically anything that wasn't on my approved foods for the diet I was currently on, I would throw in the towel and call it quits and go on a binging spree, eating every food that was available to me. I would think, well, I have already eaten a cookie...why not finish the box! Now you can see how I got to be at the weight I am now. Because, I am far from perfect...like really far. And I would give into that one cookie all the time, so I never stuck to a diet.
Are you one of those people who will only start a diet on a Monday? Well, I was. So if I blew my diet on Tuesday, I would tell myself, well, eat while you can because I am starting again on Monday...that's five days later! So for five days, I was eating a bunch of junk food "promising" myself I would get back on the wagon on Monday. If you don't know, I started the Medifast Plan on a Friday—the day after I received my first package of food. I wasn't going to wait until the weekend was over! I was sick of feeling "blah" all the time and wanted to change as soon as I could.
So this brings me to today. Why did I bring this up now if I am not struggling with perfection? Well, truth is, I still am. Sure, I haven't strayed from the plan or eaten anything I shouldn't have, but I still get down on myself for the things I do eat and when. I ate too late, or my lean and green meal could have been more simple and better for me. Things like that. Yesterday, I felt a little bloated, so I immediately blamed it on my lean and green meal. I shouldn't have had the marinara sauce. I should have just stuck to a salad. I didn't even give my body a time to digest before I started judging myself!
But, I am still learning. My body will change over time and I cannot judge it by how I feel. I used to weigh myself everyday as well, and if the number stayed the same or went up, I would go and eat something full of fat and sugar because I felt sorry for myself...and a lot of good that did. I am glad I don't weigh myself everyday now. My body is changing day to day and I shouldn't be focused on a number.
Wow...that was a lot! But I just want to encourage you that if you struggle with being perfect in your diet or health plan, you are not alone! God is helping me get through it, and He will help you too.
Breakfast
I had a staff meeting at 8am this morning, so I decided to forgo the shake and opt for a quicker-to-eat option. So, I made a blueberry soft bake and ate it on my way to the meeting. The picture looks terrible, I know, but it didn't taste as bad as it looks ;)
Morning Snack
I had the cappuccino again...it is just so good! I am happy I ordered more! I also ordered the chai latte drink mix...I hope it is as good as it sounds!
Lunch
I went to Trader Joe's last night to buy some more meatless meatballs, and they are out! I am so sad! Those are the best. So, I looked around and decided to get more pizza burgers and try out these California meatless burgers. And in case you are wondering, no, I am not vegan or vegetarian, I just really like the taste of meatless products. And they also tend to be lower in calories. So for lunch I used one of the California burgers and chopped it up and put it on top of a romaine salad with Italian dressing.
Afternoon Snack
At lunch we got my brother a chocolate cake for his birthday, and sure, the cake looked pretty good, but I wasn't thinking, I have to have that! I simply said no, and moved on. It was a pretty awesome moment for me. So, instead of having a piece of cake, I popped open a bag of brown sugar crunch cereal (which smells like french toast) and was totally satisfied.
Dinner
I ate dinner a bit late tonight because I knew I would be home late from church. So I ate a quick peanut butter crunch bar and headed off to church!
Dessert
I have to admit something to you...I went off plan tonight. Before you freak out, let me explain. It was communion tonight so I had a tiny piece of a cracker and a sip of grape juice. I was debating whether or not to take it, but then I realized that there should be no question about it. I believe the Lord will honor me in doing so. This is the only exception to "breaking" the Medifast Plan, and it's only once a month. I will live. So when I got home from church I was going to make a peanut butter milkshake, but I accidentally grabbed the dark chocolate shake packet, so that is what I had. Still tasted yummy!
Well, that is all I have for today! Don't strive for perfection...strive towards Jesus and all will be okay.
xoxo,
Toni
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