day sixty-two...it's my grandma's birthday!

It was my grandma's birthday today! The picture above is of me, my grandma, and my mom (taken last year)...three generations!

My grandma is the best grandma ever...seriously. She is also like a second mom to me. I love her dearly. I went out to lunch today with her, along with my brother and my grandpa, to celebrate her special day of birth. It was just a sweet time of fellowship and catching up. She lives nearby, so it's always nice to get together whenever possible.

I hope you have a very blessed birthday, Grandma! Love you! xoxo

Breakfast
Same old breakfast this morning...eggnog shake. I know I get pretty repetitive with my foods, but hey, when you like something, why change it?

Morning Snack
I had a chocolate chip cookie dough chewy bar this morning, and I paired it with some coffee so I could dip it in there. The hot coffee melts the chocolate a little bit creating this delicious holiday-like treat!

Lunch
As I mentioned earlier, I went out to lunch today for my grandma's birthday. Well, one of her favorite places to eat is called The Habit. So, I looked up the menu online beforehand and found out what I was going to order before I even got there. Looking at the menu too long at a restaurant always causes me problems. So, with that said, I ordered a ceasar salad (with no croutons and dressing) and added some tri-tip to it. The meat was so tender and juicy, there was absolutely no need for dressing.

...and here is a quick snapshot of my grandparents. Aren't they the cutest? ;)

Afternoon Snack
Steak usually tends to keep me quite full, but I was fairly hungry by the time the next snack time came around. I stuck to something simple and drank a chai latte. Sort of helped to settle and digest all that meat I had.

Dinner
I was out and about during dinner, so I just snacked on some brown sugar cinnamon cereal crunch. Have you noticed how crowded it is out there?! There are people everywhere you go! I only went to Target and Trader Joe's and it took me well over an hour and a half to get my shopping done! So crazy.

Dessert
Once I finally did make it home, it was time to go to church. After church I made some mini brownie bites using the brownie soft bake and called it quits for the night. I was exhausted. PS...these brownie bites were amazing! I will post the recipe soon. :)

I hope you have some fun while doing your shopping this weekend. Remember to keep a smile on your face at all times...it will only soften those who are upset and frustrated. Just simply smile! :D

Once again, happy birthday to my dear grandma...love you!

xoxo,
Toni

day twenty...perfection

It's about to get real up in this blog post. But first, happy 27th birthday to my beloved brother, Jesse! He is the best brother a sister could ever have. :)

Perfection is something I have struggled with my entire life. Now, you may be wondering, what kind of perfection? beauty, body, grades? I have struggled with all of those things, but there is one type of perfection that has always haunted me and has on numerous occasions led me to failure. It is the perfection of the diet...or in this case, health plan.

For example, in the past few years, if I were to eat just one chip or cookie or basically anything that wasn't on my approved foods for the diet I was currently on, I would throw in the towel and call it quits and go on a binging spree, eating every food that was available to me. I would think, well, I have already eaten a cookie...why not finish the box! Now you can see how I got to be at the weight I am now. Because, I am far from perfect...like really far. And I would give into that one cookie all the time, so I never stuck to a diet.

Are you one of those people who will only start a diet on a Monday? Well, I was. So if I blew my diet on Tuesday, I would tell myself, well, eat while you can because I am starting again on Monday...that's five days later! So for five days, I was eating a bunch of junk food "promising" myself I would get back on the wagon on Monday. If you don't know, I started the Medifast Plan on a Friday—the day after I received my first package of food. I wasn't going to wait until the weekend was over! I was sick of feeling "blah" all the time and wanted to change as soon as I could.

So this brings me to today. Why did I bring this up now if I am not struggling with perfection? Well, truth is, I still am. Sure, I haven't strayed from the plan or eaten anything I shouldn't have, but I still get down on myself for the things I do eat and when. I ate too late, or my lean and green meal could have been more simple and better for me. Things like that. Yesterday, I felt a little bloated, so I immediately blamed it on my lean and green meal. I shouldn't have had the marinara sauce. I should have just stuck to a salad. I didn't even give my body a time to digest before I started judging myself!

But, I am still learning. My body will change over time and I cannot judge it by how I feel. I used to weigh myself everyday as well, and if the number stayed the same or went up, I would go and eat something full of fat and sugar because I felt sorry for myself...and a lot of good that did. I am glad I don't weigh myself everyday now. My body is changing day to day and I shouldn't be focused on a number.

Wow...that was a lot! But I just want to encourage you that if you struggle with being perfect in your diet or health plan, you are not alone! God is helping me get through it, and He will help you too.

Breakfast
I had a staff meeting at 8am this morning, so I decided to forgo the shake and opt for a quicker-to-eat option. So, I made a blueberry soft bake and ate it on my way to the meeting. The picture looks terrible, I know, but it didn't taste as bad as it looks ;)

Morning Snack
I had the cappuccino again...it is just so good! I am happy I ordered more! I also ordered the chai latte drink mix...I hope it is as good as it sounds!

Lunch
I went to Trader Joe's last night to buy some more meatless meatballs, and they are out! I am so sad! Those are the best. So, I looked around and decided to get more pizza burgers and try out these California meatless burgers. And in case you are wondering, no, I am not vegan or vegetarian, I just really like the taste of meatless products. And they also tend to be lower in calories. So for lunch I used one of the California burgers and chopped it up and put it on top of a romaine salad with Italian dressing.

Afternoon Snack
At lunch we got my brother a chocolate cake for his birthday, and sure, the cake looked pretty good, but I wasn't thinking, I have to have that! I simply said no, and moved on. It was a pretty awesome moment for me. So, instead of having a piece of cake, I popped open a bag of brown sugar crunch cereal (which smells like french toast) and was totally satisfied.

Dinner
I ate dinner a bit late tonight because I knew I would be home late from church. So I ate a quick peanut butter crunch bar and headed off to church!

Dessert
I have to admit something to you...I went off plan tonight. Before you freak out, let me explain. It was communion tonight so I had a tiny piece of a cracker and a sip of grape juice. I was debating whether or not to take it, but then I realized that there should be no question about it. I believe the Lord will honor me in doing so. This is the only exception to "breaking" the Medifast Plan, and it's only once a month. I will live. So when I got home from church I was going to make a peanut butter milkshake, but I accidentally grabbed the dark chocolate shake packet, so that is what I had. Still tasted yummy!

Well, that is all I have for today! Don't strive for perfection...strive towards Jesus and all will be okay.

xoxo,
Toni