about me

I have always been a more "stockier" girl. From elementary to high school, I was always a bit overweight. Now, I am only 5'1" so that doesn't help me at all. I am pretty much a teapot..."short and stout."

me at the age of 13

However, around my Junior year of high school, I was just sick of being overweight and a bit more chubby than the other girls. You see, I went to a private school and we had to wear uniforms, skirts in particular. You see my point. So then began my eating disorder of anorexia. I basically would only eat a small dinner all day because that was the only meal I had with my parents. I had gone from about 142 pounds to around 112 pounds in only two months.

Then in my senior year of high school I began to eat again and gained back about ten pounds. No big deal...it was probably good that I did. But I still continued my anorexic habits all the way until I graduated in 2009.

my senior year of high school around 120 pounds

But then came college and I took a 180 degree turn and began to binge. This was the start of my food addiction. I had deprived myself of food for so long and thus began eating everything in fear of not eating that food again. I wouldn't have two or three cookies, but rather would eat four and then take another four with me back to my dorm room because I knew I would want them again later on in the day. We had a salad bar at my school so there were those times I would commit to losing weight and eat from the salad bar, but I would just end up eating a bunch of junk food the next day or week and ultimately feeling terrible about it and literally hating myself every morning when I woke up because of the way I felt.

After a year at college, I was at my highest weight: 166 pounds. Forget the "freshman 15"... I was the "freshman 40". As of today, it has been three years since all of this has happened and I am back home but still struggling with my addiction. It is a never ending process–I mean, its been 3 years. Plus, everyone eats like all the time! It is hard to say no when everyone else is saying yes. I have never had a drinking or drug issue–In fact I have never even had a drink or taken drugs for that matter–food was my escape and "drug" if you will.

me at my heaviest weight of 166.2 pounds—August 2013

And as of October 18, 2013 I have started the Medifast 5 and 1 plan. I am looking forward to getting healthy once and for all and living the life God has meant me to live.

I am praying that this blog will help me overcome my addiction, but also help those men and women around the world who also struggle with an addiction to food. I don't want others to go through what I did and still am. It is a topic not talked about much and I want to change that and make it known to others struggling that we can get through this together and fight it!

xoxo,
Toni